Fireman Ed bio

Here's a fake bio on "Fireman" Ed Anzalone. Replace his name with mine ant it's 100% true.

Fireman Ed Anzalone was a New York firefighter assigned to Engine 69 at the famous "Harlem Hilton." Ed was moved to station dispatcher because he was accused of driving too slow to fires because he did not want to help black people. When asked why he didn't work at a fire station in a white neighborhood, Anzalone said that chicks liked firemen from busy houses. He filed an on the job injury claim in 2007 stating he hurt his back rescuing 2 people from a burning building, when in reality he was involved in a bar fight with Giant fans. On 9/11 Anzalone was suspended for being AWOL as he refused to report to work because he wanted to do a live appearance at Lucky's Bar in Bayshore, NY for Monday Night Football.  Ed took the J-E-T-S chant from two retired NYPD officers. He wore his fire helmet to garner more attention. He used to be hoisted on his brother's shoulders until an incident in Sept 2008 where Anzalone had a major diarrhea attack stemming from a large portion of Mexican food and draft beer. Frank Anzalone's white Jets jersey was forever ruined. Anzalone was caught up in controversy during a Jet-Giant exhibition game. Anzalone was interrupted doing his performance by a Giant fan. An altercation ensued as Anzalone felt that the entire stadium should show respect when he was doing the J-E-T-S chant.  In 2012 Anzalone switched jersey's from Bruce Harper, to Mark Sanchez. When asked about it, Ed said that he was supporting mediocrity, just like himself.  In Nov 2012 Anzalone deleted his Twitter account due to a twitter war with Opie and Anthony fans who called him a giant douche, as well as vowing to no longer to perform at Jet games. This is stemming from the Jets refusal to erect a bronze statue of himself and to retire his number (either 46 or 6). Anzalone has an autobiography coming out next fall called: "It's all about me."